Nap time is a peaceful time in a house with one child. The child lays down and goes to sleep. Quietness prevails. Work gets accomplished--perhaps you pick up the toys, clothes, diapers, etc that are strewn about the house. If you are feeling energetic, perhaps you even clean a little, dusting or washing dishes or if you are feeling particularly ambitious scrubbing grape juice stains out of the carpet and furniture. Perhaps you have some work to do in your home office. Perhaps you spend the time blogging.
Whatever your plans, the length of an afternoon nap is highly variable and subject to change at a moment's notice. There are always circumstances which arise to change the nap's length, and these variables are too numerous to account for. Therefore, the clock starts ticking as soon as the child lays down, and there is a certain sensation of pressure which begins to build at that moment. How much time do I really have? How much can I get done? Do I have time to do something "fun", or should I just buckle down and get to work?
For myself, I have decided that E. should take a 3-hour nap. That is our daily goal. Don't ask me where I came up with 3 hours, except that I guess I've heard a parent or two say something along the lines that their child occasionally will take a 3 hour nap. Three hours seems perfect to me--time to wash dishes, pick up the house, get the mail, read email and perhaps cruise around to a blog or two.
The problem is that E. hasn't really agreed to the program, and actually has no concept of time, especially when he is sleeping, so he is completely unaware of my 3-hour nap plan. This doesn't stop me. Every day I lay him down, give him his "Guy", say, "good night I love you take a nice nap I'll see you when it's time to get up go to sleep." And then I hurry downstairs and plan on having 3 hours to myself to actually get something done.
THE REALITY
Denial
I am working busily away, or blogging or trying to sleep when I hear "thump.". I casually glance at the clock. 3:21. E. went to bed at 1:30 as usual, so I know that the "thump." wasn't him. Quick mental calculations which are harder than they should be, due to the parenting of a toddler. It hasn't even been 2 hours yet. Must have been something hitting the roof of the house or something. What a strange noise. Ignore aforementioned noise and go back to work/blogging/sleeping.
Anger
"thump." again. Realize that it probably is E., even though it is only 3:27 and not yet two hours and this is the shortest nap on record. Think about what could possibly have caused my lovely child to wake up having slept not even two hours. Recall loud truck going by outside. Curse truck driver. Remember hearing kids on bikes ride by and realize that they were actually talking to each other. Outside. In the middle of the day. Not being quiet. Have bad feelings in heart about neighborhood children who can be that inconsiderate.
Bargaining
Hope that E. will magically fall back to sleep if I am quiet enough. Commence tiptoeing around the house. Do not open an cabinets, drawers, refrigerator, or anything that might make a noise if closed suddenly. Turn off washing machine. Remember not to sit in the squeaky desk chair. Try to breathe quietly.
Denial
Believe that E. has returned to sleep. Say a small prayer of thanks, and sit very quietly on the couch, not making noise. Try not to listen, but hear "thump." and decide that the cats are jumping off the bed again.
Anger
Get mad at cats for making so much noise in the middle of the day. "thump." "thump." "thump." Get mad at traffic, distant police cars, birds, gravel in driveway, loud air conditioning unit, squeaky desk chairs in general.
Depression
Realize that it is hopeless. Everything that hasn't been accomplished yet will not get done today. Feel like the house is dirty, dirty, horribly dirty, and not only dirty but messy too. Dirty and messy and sticky. And too small.
Acceptance
Take a deep breath. Turn the washer back on, flush the toilet 3 times in a row just because, and head upstairs. Open door to see E. laying in crib smiling at me. Wonder why I even wanted him to sleep any longer, because for the past 2 hours and 3 and 1/2 minutes I have really been missing him. Begin playing the "Are You OK?" game and actually enjoy it.
Ping took a very unusual three hour nap today (she has a little cold) - I read the paper, did the dishes, had lunch, etc. etc! It was positively luxurious. But. Boy, was I happy to hear her little voice when she woke up.
Posted by: Brooklyn Mama at August 2, 2004 8:13 PMHi--
I discovered this blog just today, and am really enjoying reading your story.
Your bibliography section doesn't include a wonderful documentary called "Daughter from Danang," which I thought you should know about. It's aired multiple times on PBS, and I think you may be able to buy a copy.
Good luck with everything!
Leah
New York