grrlTravels

Stick with what you know to be true

After a couple of agonizing days and long conversations, K. and I decided that all along we had wanted E. to be the eldest child. Our reasons for this are not perfectly clear. But it just seems so important to us, and I have never considered nor visualized another scenario. A good friend said, "When your judgement wasn't clouded by emotion, you wanted E. to be the oldest. That was your decision at the time, and is still probably the right decision for you." You know what? He was right. It's hard to "reject" a child that you know you could love, a child that could become a part of your family. Especially when this is a real child, and not just a decision that you are making. But in this case, it seemed pretty clear to us that lovely child or not, the right thing to do was to say "No thank you" and hope for the best.

So that's what we did.