November 1, 2005
Supermom or Stupidmom?
The next time I get the urge to do something Supermom-like I shall remember to stop and listen to that other little voice in my head, the one that is whispering, "You aren't really the Supermom type, are you? Refuse the urge and be the Slackermom you know you were meant to be."
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of the mall, having irrationally decided earlier that day that yes, dragging two children out in the rain really is worth the chance to perhaps try on a pair of jeans if you should manage to locate any prospects? You had gotten up, taken a shower (a feat in itself, and deserving of some kind of medal that early in the morning), gotten everyone dressed, fed everyone breakfast (except yourself of course), changed all clothes that had gotten breakfast on them, gotten the diaper bag (and all other required bags) packed, gotten everyone in a coat, gotten everyone in the car and buckled in, driven to the mall, and found yourself not too long after that standing in the middle of some display designed to remind you that you are A.) hideous without makeup (not only do you not have makeup on this morning but you are quite sure that you didn't brush your hair and suddenly wondering if you remembered to brush your teeth); or B.) terribly unfashionable (you aren't quite wearing mom jeans but you may as well be for all you know that pedal pushers or gauchos are de rigueur except that they aren't called that any more because they are now in fact capris and you can even wear them in the winter but only with the right boots); or C.) fat. Suddenly you realize that the whole trip was in fact a huge mistake but you can't remember exactly where you parked the car in your haste to get into the mall. And now both of the kids are either crying or whining about something.
I had that kind of a day. I should know better. I am not a Supermom and I don't try to act like one. I know that a quick trip to the grocery store or anything with a drive-through is about all we can manage most days. So why did I decide to ride my bike into the local YMCA camp with both kids in the bike trailer? (Because it was a beautiful day outside, and it doesn't matter that it's been 9 months at least since I last rode the bike when the weather is this good.) Ok, then why did I decide to unstrap and dislodge both children from the bike trailer at the YMCA camp when we got there, even though they were snuggled in there happily except for the fact that Z.'s hand-me-down bike helmet is really big and was over her eyes for who knows how long? (Because the purpose of riding the bike with the trailer was to go into the camp and swing on the swing or throw stones in the lake.) Well then why did I decide after having a very nice time throwing stones in the lake to take both children on a hike without a baby carrier knowing full well that E.'s personal best in hiking is 500 yards after which he whines to be carried or sits down where ever he is and refuses to move? (Because there is a cool boardwalk thingy that goes over the water and the weather was nice and... Wait a minute. There is no discernable reason why anyone who knew full well that they could not carry both children at the same time would do something so dumb.) Right.
So we endured the hike back which included one child thrashing and arching and wriggling and flailing as violently as a 14 pounder with developmental delays can while the other one said loudly, "Mommy, can you CARRY me? I want you to CARRY me. I'm TIRED. I keep TRIPPING on the sticks. I need you to CARRY me RIGHT NOW," as only a whiny 2-year-old can. Then when we finally reached the bike and trailer after only 3 decades of tramping through the undergrowth and got settled in, the first born child proceeded to narrate the ride home while the second child cried her eyes out, producing real tears, "Mommy, I'm HUNGRY. I'm HUNGRY, Mommy, I need SOMETHING TO EAT. I'm THIRSTY, Mommy, THIRSTY. I need a drink RIGHT NOW. Z.'s crying, Mommy, HELP HER because she is crying. And she's leaning on me. I don't want her to lean on me, Mommy, can you MAKE HER STOP? Mommy, I NEED something to eat RIGHT NOW."
Honestly? I have no idea what I was thinking. But I sincerely doubt I will think it any time again soon.
Here's the photographic documentation.
Ready to set off on an adventure
Z. contemplates nature (and sand)
Throwing stones, pre-hike
More stones, mid-hike
E. refuses to sit next to Z.
But still I for no known reason decide to try to take a picture of them together
[Insert photo here of E. hanging on my ankle 5 steps into the hike back while Z. flails and cries]
[Insert photo here of E. whining in the bike trailer and accidentally elbowing Z. repeatedly while she flails and cries]
[Insert photo here of us returning the bike to the garage as E. injures himself while pitching head first from the bike trailer in his haste to GET OUT while Z. flails and cries]
I really do know better. I should have just gone to the mall. They have strollers there. And places for the Slackermoms to sit and contemplate their folly while the kids quietly eat Mc*D's french fries.
Posted by grrlTravels at November 1, 2005 3:17 PM
Beautiful pictures! You are a brave woman to even try this adventure. I am in awe of you!
Posted by: carosgram at November 1, 2005 5:03 PMHey -- I think you're a SuperMom just to attempt all this! Whew -- i got tired just reading it. And the pics do show that everyone was having a great time, for a while anyway.
Posted by: Janet at November 1, 2005 5:56 PMI have read about supermom on this here blog a few times. Or maybe pretty impressive mom. Hiking with two kids under 3? Maybe its braveheart mom.
best
Posted by: bh at November 1, 2005 7:37 PMOh my gosh, the commentary of the park bike ride is a riot!!! I love that E didn't like Z LEANING on him. So funny and so typical!!!!
Great photo's by the way!
STacey
Posted by: Stacey at November 1, 2005 7:46 PMAmy,
Beautiful pictures, and don't think for a moment you are not supermom. You are a total supermom and I too am in total awe of the fact you took two babes on a bike ride and on a hike. and both of your babes are absolutely GORGEOUS!!! Oy vey...I need to make a trip out East and get me some E. and Z. time. Hope I don't sound too much like a super stalker.
Posted by: chicagomama at November 1, 2005 8:17 PMUh...definitely Super Mom. Sorry. My jaw dropped reading this. You took both of them in a BIKE trailer to a PARK?!! Whoah. I ask J to come home early so I can run to buy Soymilk.
You definitely get a prize.
Posted by: Figlet at November 1, 2005 8:53 PMAs usual you can't tell from the pictures what a difficult time was had by mom! My pictures usually turn out well also...you can't tell I'm behind the camera ready to pull my hair out (and thats with one kid!). Hopefully in years to come we will forget the difficulties and only see the happy smiling babies in the pictures!
Posted by: Rita at November 1, 2005 8:54 PMI am feeling the need to add the following:
While at the YMCA camp I ran into my neighbor from down the street. She was with her two children, ages 4 and 6 months. She was holding the 6-month-old in her arms, no carrier or anything of that sort. And they were taking off on a real hike of something like 3 or 4 miles through the camp. That, my friends, is Supermom. Or Crazy Insane Neighborhood Freak, but I'm going with Supermom, because she manages to convince her 4-year-old to walk incredible distances, and never gives the kid lunch on time as far as I can tell.
Posted by: Amy/grrlTravels at November 1, 2005 9:10 PMI'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you, you are laughing now aren't you?
The best bit is when E says in a few days something to the effect of "member when we went in the bike and threw stones, and walked a really, really long way, and Z cried cos she's a baby but I didn't because I'm a real help, and then I nearly broke my head? That was great Mommy can we do it again?"
Your not Supermom but you are Fabulous Mom.
Posted by: Debberoo at November 1, 2005 10:25 PMok. adding in the part where your crazy insane neighborhood freak shows up definitely explains why you're not feeling like supermom.
but, hello? what figlet said! and me, i haven't even walked further than to the car for more than three years. trying to lug my one year old anywhere challenges me. but you? even attempting to go on a bike ride with two kids and then throwing stones and swinging and going for a hike... you're amazing. lady, just getting through the day is difficult for me.
i am in awe.
Posted by: afrindiemum at November 1, 2005 10:53 PMNot only did you take two kids on a bike to a hiking trail but you had the energy to blog about it too!! My vote is for Supermom.
Posted by: Sparky at November 1, 2005 11:49 PMBut the thing is it DOES get easier! It WILL :) And you pleased many of us with shots of your beautiful children, so there you go. Not a complete waste ;)
Posted by: amy at November 1, 2005 11:49 PMHee! I love the way you took photographs anyway - i think that makes you a SuperMom. Also amused by distaste of E. for being 'leaned on'. That was always a bone of contention for me too.
Posted by: Jenny at November 2, 2005 9:23 AMHey Supermom,
I know that must not have been relaxing but what great pics to remember it by later. They'll thank you one day. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself when I absurdly attempt something way beyond myself.
Perrin
Posted by: perrin at November 2, 2005 4:27 PMWhat a great story! So funny! Love the pictures. And you totally need a cape. You ARE a supermom!
Posted by: shannon at November 2, 2005 4:52 PMHilarious. Sorry I haven't checked in with you lately. I have been lurking every post.
You don't need sexy expensive jeans my friend.
Posted by: itsswoop at November 2, 2005 9:56 PMWow! I vote Supermom, too. Not only did you have the energy to get through all of that, you blogged about it and made it FUNNY! I am totally not worthy.
Posted by: Amyesq at November 2, 2005 11:59 PMP.S. And I have met you in person. You are SO totally not fat. Whatever! :)
Posted by: Amyesq at November 3, 2005 12:00 AMOkay, I tried taking Zoe and my dog for a walk and I had to turn around not even 100 yards from my house. So the fact that you took two small children out gets my vote for Supermom.
Love the pics!
Posted by: Shelba at November 3, 2005 9:06 AMAny day that ends with toilet paper on the roll I consider an official sucess. If we leave the house for any purpuse or for any length of time and we all return alive, I am Supermom For The Day.
Now hiking... And biking... I didn't know it was possible! There must be some kind of award for that!
Posted by: AmandaS at November 4, 2005 9:41 AMUmm, I mean "purpose."
Posted by: AmandaS at November 4, 2005 9:43 AMYou are amazingly diverse in your talents. And now you cook gourmet meals and bike two (very cute) kids around?
Sweet photos. Love Z in her little helmet.
Posted by: Julie at November 5, 2005 2:03 PM