October 24, 2007
Z. is 3
Z. is three. Her big milestones are generally bittersweet for me, and this one is no exception. Not much has changed with our little Z. She walks. She has a pretty good "f" sound and some new words. She likes to climb into E.'s car seat. There are the ongoing issues and the passivity and the question marks. There is Z., our Z. And now she is three.
This week for no good reason I am feeling hopeful about things, and so I snuggled with Z. and we played and sang and read books and ate yogurt and ice cream and had a dance party. If I hadn't been raining we would have made some time to swing. It was a Z. kind of day. It was a good day. She seemed as happy as she seems.
I do not have it in me to obsess on this day we celebrate her birth. I am thankful that she was born. I wonder about her first mother, her first father, and I feel the loss that adoption brings. I don't know if Z. feels the loss today, but I feel it for her, my version of it anyway. I love her for her as she is right now. I get myself as close to her level and I can and I just...am. Her mother. The best mother I can be today. Loving her as much as I can love her.
Happy Birthday Z.! Thank you for being the sweet, affectionate, silly, deteremined girl you are. May the next year hold many good things, many happy days, much growth, much contentment.
And now a word from the birthday girl herself.
(click to listen)
Me: "What's today, Z.?"
Z.: "Happy Birthday, BaBa."
Me: "Hey Z., can you sing Happy Birthday?"
Z.: (sings)
She spent all day saying "Happy Birthday BaBa" because it was just K.'s birthday and we had spent a lot of time saying just that. No matter how many times we said, "No, Happy Birthday Z.!" she is still wishing K. a happy day.
Posted by grrlTravels at October 24, 2007 11:01 PMHappy birthday Z!
She's so big!
Posted by: Courtney at October 26, 2007 1:38 AMwhat a great post with lovely pictures
Posted by: amy at October 26, 2007 1:48 AMHer singing is the cutest EVER! Your kids are beautiful. Happy Birthday, Z!
Posted by: Mayhem at October 26, 2007 2:46 AMHappy birthday sweet, sweet Z!
And Happy Bursaday from Shoop.
And you are the best Z-Mummy in the world.
Happy Birthday, Z!!!! What a big day, you're THREE!!!!
The birthday song is just about the sweetest thing I have ever heard!!!
Posted by: Stacey at October 26, 2007 10:17 AMAwww. Happy birthday, Z!
Posted by: OmegaMom at October 26, 2007 10:48 AMHappy Birthday Z! You are a beautiful and Happy as can Be!
Posted by: Spacemom at October 26, 2007 10:56 AMHappy Birthday Z! Beautiful pictures, and I love that smile! (Couldn't hear the audio-quicktime said something was missing, which is probably just a problem with my computer, only mentioning it "just in case"). ~lmc
Posted by: lisa at October 26, 2007 11:34 AMOh my! I have tears in my eyes! You didn't tell us she could sing. Happy birthday, Z!
Posted by: Sister Carrie at October 26, 2007 11:43 AMHappy birthday, Z!!! Oh my goodness, I couldn't help but tear up to hear her sing happy birthday. She has the sweetest voice.
Posted by: Shelba at October 26, 2007 12:00 PMHappy birthday, Z!!! Oh my goodness, I couldn't help but tear up to hear her sing happy birthday. She has the sweetest voice.
Posted by: Shelba at October 26, 2007 12:00 PMShe's so sweet. Happy 3rd birthday, Z!
Posted by: Mrs Figby at October 26, 2007 1:00 PMOooh, Happy Birthday Z!!! What a sweet song!
Posted by: Brooklyn Mama at October 26, 2007 2:02 PMAWWW...loved the singing! Happy Birthday Z!
Posted by: Christina at October 26, 2007 2:08 PMHappy Birthday Z!!!
Posted by: Jen at October 26, 2007 2:53 PMHappy birthday Z! I hope your day is extra sweet, just like you!
I couldn't hear the song, but I'm sure it was cute:)
Posted by: WendyN at October 26, 2007 4:39 PMHappy Birthday Z!!!
Posted by: Judy at October 26, 2007 7:59 PMYay!! Happy birthday, Z! I wish her all that you hope for her and lots of wonderful surprises, too.
Posted by: Erin O' at October 26, 2007 8:12 PMZ's singing Happy Birthday pushed me right over the edge. How sweet!! Happy Birthday 3 year old girl!
Much love from WI!
Rochelle
Happy Birthday to Z!!
Posted by: Amyesq at October 27, 2007 8:18 AMHappy Birthday Z! What a great job singing. Very Cute!
Happy 3rd Birthday to Z.!! What wonderful singing. She is such a sweetheart, Amy.
Posted by: betsy at October 27, 2007 11:55 AMHappy Birthday Z! Love the singing, that was the sweetest thing ever.
Posted by: Jeanne at October 28, 2007 1:14 PMHappy Birthday Z!! I loved your beautiful song!
Posted by: Tracie at October 29, 2007 12:04 AMHappy Birthday Z - you are getting so big!
Posted by: chicagomama at October 29, 2007 9:57 AMnow you have me sobbing listening to that!
Posted by: joybucket at November 2, 2007 6:26 PM