grrlTravels

h. e. l. p. m. e. p. t. 2

It's a quote from on of my all time favorite movies. (What movie, without googling?) It's also how I feel. I'm sending out a great big, huge, massive thank you to everyone who commented and emailed and talked to me about that last Z. post. I hope to write each of you individually, but knowing how far behind I am with email I'm loathe to make such a crazy promise as that. So for now please accept my heartfelt thanks.

Sadly I still don't have all the answers. I don't have any answers yet. But I feel better, and I've been pointed in all kinds of good directions, and I'm prioritizing and thinking analytically rather than in panic mode. So that's all good. I've had good conversations with her PreK teacher, her speech therapist (school), and her OT (private). I've identified some parents that I want to chat with. I'm putting out feelers about an advocate, although I think it's early days for that.

And when I say I don't have any answers, that's not completely true. I've ruled out homeschooling definitively for the time being and I'm leaning away from private school right now after realizing that many of them will not be able to offer her services. We live in a small district (which has its pros and cons) and I was pretty sure and it's been confirmed that there is not some kind of smaller class she can be placed in so that's off the table. Pretty much everyone has recommended an aide for her. Interestingly while her current teacher recommended an aide for Z. she said she doesn't recommend a full- time aide because Z. would get too dependent on that person and I agree with that assessment.

I've realized that I trust all of the people on the EIP team except for the social worker (who I just don't know very well). As some of you have gently reminded me they have Z.'s best interests in mind and they have been exceptionally kind to her and to me. The administrators are another story, but I expect that's pretty much the story most of the time. I understand that there are budgetary issues, that my kid isn't the only one who is going to require extra resources, and I want to be reasonable. I also want to get for Z. what she needs. And I don't want Kindergarten to be a terrible experience for her. Clarity. Clarity. It's coming slowly in tiny little bits.

I feel curious about the IEP meeting. Also nervous. And worried. And like I'm in sooooo far over my head. But I expect those feelings are also par for the course for many people. I know more going in than many people in no small part because of lovely people like you.

And I know Z. Not everything. Not every perspective, not from every angle. But I know her. I'm going to hold on to that for now.

I'll have more to say (probably much, much, much more) in the coming months and I'll appreciate anything you wish to say back to me.

Thanks again. You rock.

[Isn't that the goofiest photo of Z. and I ever? It is. But it seemed appropriate, seeing that we are sitting in her classroom together and I'm feeling just the slightest bit uncomfortable because someone I don't know is taking a picture with my camera and because I'm wondering about next year. And all of the years after that.]

Posted by grrlTravels at May 5, 2010 10:56 AM