grrlTravels

Actually you can sign some of the documents. The big thing you may not want to sign is "consent for placement." But you could sign the "cover sheet," which everyone signs and indicates only attendance. Every document they ask you to sign should be clearly explained to you.

At my school (in Illinois so it could be different) for the equivalent kind of meeting, there would be eligibility paperwork (with the cover sheet saying you and school staff were present for the meeting -- you'll want to sign that you were there).

The eligibility paperwork and eligibility meeting determines if your child needs special education services and under which label your child qualifies for support. Every professional who evaluated your daughter would read their report and declare at the end whether the student is eligible for services, possible goals, how many minutes, etc.

Normally the eligibility meeting would naturally flow into the IEP meeting where a specific plan of services would be written for a student. If that happens, we have another "cover sheet," which indicates attendance at the actual IEP meeting (it's my understanding that most districts only have one cover page - we're unusual).

Sometimes the eligibility meeting and the IEP meeting are separate. I had that happen in January where the parents had signed consent to evaluate (you signed that one a few months ago I'm sure), but they were totally blindsided by a label of developmental delay, speech and OT delays. The mother attended the eligibility meeting, but refused to sign "consent for placement." We were able to finish the eligibility paperwork, but we waited on the IEP until the mother was ready. Paperwork-wise it was nice and clear: the student was eligible, but no plan of service was written without consent. It took her about two weeks to process all the new information and she signed consent and the IEP was written. The student is doing great in an appropriate setting, which is meeting his/her needs.

If the first part of the meeting is too much to handle, you can request another meeting when you feel more ready to discuss everything. At my school that would be just fine.

Also keep in mind that everyone that will be attending this meeting has done very deep thinking about what is best for Z. Although I do meetings like yours multiple times every single week, I think about them weeks and days before the actual meeting. They might be nervous too!

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!

So sad that Z didn't have what she needed in her first months of life and how that effects her life. I'm so glad she got you as a Mama and advocate. You have good instincts. I've followed your blog almost since you got Z. Good luck tomorrow.

Thank you, intrepidgirl. You are right. I'm over here trying not to sound cynical and I keep sounding cynical. I don't feel all that cynical though.

We did already sign the consent to evaluate and I will sign the attendance sheet and I think you are right that we will have a paper at the end of the eligibility part to sign as well, which is fine.

After reading your explanation it all makes more sense now. I don't know why I couldn't have figured that out on my own, but the meetings always feel stiff and uncomfortable and so I feel uncomfortable right away and then I feel sad and confused and defensive and then I sort of lose track of exactly what's going on. But I'm going to get better at this I'm sure. Once I stop feeling sad and confused and defensive.

I've pulled my positive attitude out of my back pocket and I'm ready!

Betty, that is exactly what makes me so sad at times like this when I am forced to face it. I don't know that Z. was always going to be this person she is now, although K. reminds me that we don't know she wasn't either. But my gut tells me neglect, poor nutrition, some sort of physical issue, and other issues at her CWI have all contributed.

Thinking of you. I am just reading this post now so you may already be done or currently in the IEP. Regardless, I wish for great things this year for Z and your family.

i havent commented in a million years ( i brought 2 kids home from china/taiwan last year) but i read every day. you are such a great mom and your last few posts have been amazing. good luck tomorrow, i will be thinking of you and sweet z.

eli

Really thinking of all of you. I too have followed your travels since Z came home and while no one will ever know the cause, I so relate to your feelings that her treatment at the CWI can't of helped. The best thing is she has all of you now to give her the opportunities she can take. My best wishes for you and I hope the meeting wasn't too traumatic.