August 16, 2006
Tell me, oh great internets, how it is done, that fulfillment thing
[Cross posted from my other blog. See comments.]
I am feeling the need for a creative outlet. I have some ideas. Lots of ideas actually. Many, many ideas for creative directions which are interesting to me.
I also have two preschoolers at home, soon to be three. (Soon being a relative term of course. There are no immediate plans.) These lovely children of mine, they take up a lot of time. A. Lot. Of. Time. More time than I ever could have imagined. Ok, not really, not more than I could have imagined. Of course not. But still. The Time.
I am having that debate that many mothers have these days. The "preschool years pass swiftly and before I know it they will be in school and oh the time I will have" but "I need something for myself now because if I am more fulfilled and happier I will be a better mother to them" unless "I can just hold out for 5 or so more years and give them everything I think they need and then I will have loads of time to work on my own stuff" however "life is short and I don't want to waste a moment" debate. Honestly, I cannot find any middle ground for myself.
Today. These days I am home with the kids. We have a babysitter one day a week who watches E. but not Z. and will be returning to college soon. There is no preschool in the works for my diaper wearing soon-to-be 4-year-old. We have therapy appointments and doctors visits. We do not have family who lives close enough to be the "watch my kids for two hours while I get my hair cut" type of help. We run our own business, so I have work which must be accomplished. The 2 1/2 to 3 hours of nap time I have in the afternoon is eaten up by work, bills, chores, laundry, email and blogging/blogreading, although the blogging and blog reading have been seriously curtailed lately, much to my disappointment. I rarely have the time or energy to cook dinner. When the kids are up I am with them. Some days I do a good job of parenting and we go for a walk or to a park or do crafts or play. Some days I do a lousy job of parenting and we are in a room together and I talk on the phone or play on the internet and sigh when the kids tug on my pants to get my attention.
What I would like is some more time to do something creative. I can't figure out where that time will come from. I know some of you out there find time to pursue your writing or crafting or art. Here are my questions:
- How many children do you have?* How old are they?
- Do you spend a reasonable amount of time per week (or daily) on hobbies or interests? How much time?
- Do you spend time working on things that interest you while the kids are awake? How much time?
*I have found the adjustment from one kid to two to be of the XL variety. I did have some actual free time before Z. arrived, much more than I do now.
I am in the process of trying to decide if my standards are unreasonable (that I must spend every waking moment with the kids interacting with them in a meaningful way) or if I lose out because I have work and chores which eat up the nap time most days (today being a pleasant exception to the rule) or if I must just let this go until all of my children are in school at least part time. I have no idea. None. If you have something which works for you and your family I'd love to hear about it.
Posted by grrlTravels at 3:06 PM